As Salaam Aleykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatouh.
One weekend, my family and I attended an Eid party at Galaxyland.
This is a picture of me on the Ferris wheel.
You probably can’t tell, but I am terrified in this photo. I’ve been afraid of heights since I was a child. That day, however, caught up in the excitement, I somehow forgot about this longstanding fear until we were in the ride and already several metres off the ground. Suddenly, I began feeling that familiar wave of anxiety, complete with heart palpitations and butterflies in my stomach.
Anxiety is not new to me. I began struggling with it in childhood, particularly social anxiety. For decades, I felt an intense fear of saying or doing the wrong thing in front of others, anything that might lead to negative judgment. I tried to overthink and overprepare my way through life, and avoided situations that required me to ‘perform’ publicly, whenever I could.
Ironically, it wasn’t until years into becoming a psychologist that I decided to seriously apply my own advice; I began intentionally exposing myself to the situations and thoughts that triggered my anxiety. Alhamdulillah, this really helped.
However, the most profound shift didn’t come until later, when I was introduced to the concept of tawakkul in an Islamic Psychology class, and I began actively working to strengthen my own tawakkul. That is when I experienced real, lasting relief from anxiety, the type that I never thought possible after 30 years of constant struggle.
Anxiety is the emotion that we experience when we believe that something bad is going to happen. Over the years, I have observed that the level of anxiety we experience often matches our level of intelligence; the smarter we are, the more varied and elaborate the catastrophic scenarios are. So if you struggle with anxiety, know you are in good company.
But as I discovered the notion of tawakkul, I started thinking: what if we truly relied on Allah? What if we acknowledged in our heart that no matter what outcome unfolds, whether it aligns with our fears, contradicts them, or surpasses them entirely, it will be, in fact, the best possible outcome for both our dunya and our akhirah?
When asked about tawakkul, Shaykh Uthaymin (Rahimahullah) described it as sincere reliance upon Allah.
Tawakkul involves taking permissible precautions while placing complete faith in Allah. It involves remembering that Allah SWT is:
Al-Wakeel (The Trustee): The One to trust, rely upon, and turn to for protection.
Al-Hakeem (The Wise): The One to whom belongs sublime wisdom in His creation and His command, who has created everything in a perfect manner.
Al-Fattah (The Opener): The One who opens doors and removes obstacles.
Al-Mudabbir (The Arranger): The One who perfectly plans and manages all affairs.
Al-Latif (The Subtle): The One who brings about goodness in subtle ways.
After I had allowed myself some grace, and consciously turned my heart to Allah, reminding myself what it truly means to rely on Him, I felt the change start to operate right there on the Ferris wheel. The anxiety didn’t vanish all at once, but it softened. I found that I could sit with the discomfort. It became quieter… more distant. And, unexpectedly, I even began to feel grateful for the experience, the opportunity to get closer to Allah, and I began to enjoy the ride.
May Allah grant all of us this kind of ease in the moments we feel most afraid, on and off Ferris wheels.
‘Say, “Nothing will ever befall us except what Allah has destined for us. He is our Protector.” So in Allah let the believers put their trust.’ [Quran 9:51]
If what I have said is correct, it is from Allah; and if it is wrong, then it is from myself and Shayṭān.
As Salaam Aleykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatouh.
Audrey Kodye, Registered Psychologist and Islamic therapist at Overcome Anxiety Psychological