As Salaam Aleykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatouh.
Do you ever feel pressure to do things perfectly? Do you ever feel like if you can’t do something consistently, it almost doesn’t feel worth starting?
A few days ago, I was making wu’du, when an ahadith about Bilal (Radi Allahu anhu) came to my mind. This is the full version of this ahadith:
At the time of the Fajr prayer, the Prophet SAW asked Bilal RA,
“Tell me of the best deed you did after embracing Islam, for I heard your footsteps in front of me in Paradise.”
Bilal replied, “I did not do anything worth mentioning except that whenever I performed ablution during the day or night, I prayed after that ablution as much as what was written for me.”
(Sahih Al-Bukhari, 1149)
I had intended to pray two rakʿāt after my wu’du that day. And then a thought crept in: “You probably won’t be able to do this every single time. So what’s the point?”
I almost didn’t pray these 2 rakʿāt.
This is what perfectionism does. It creates anxiety, a feeling of defeat and guilt. It leads to procrastination or even avoidance.
Perfectionism can be hard to let go of; as much as it affects us negatively, it is maintained by our fear of being looked down upon and criticized by others, and by our own feelings of disappointment, guilt and even anger towards ourselves for failing to live up to certain standards.
It leads us to believe in blanket statements, such as thinking that we are deficient, bad, incapable, etc.
If you feel discouraged and like you wish to give up, this may be a sign that perfectionism is getting in your way.
What if instead of ruminating about what we did and did not do, we focused on making the most of the time we have left, In Sha Allah?
And what if instead of being preoccupied with our own judgment and that of others, we focused on being firm on what pleases Allah SWT, including turning to Him with repentance and hoping for His mercy?
Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) having said:
“By Him in Whose Hand is my life, if you were not to commit sin, Allah would sweep you out of existence, and He would replace (you by) those people who would commit sin and seek forgiveness from Allah, and He would have pardoned them.” (Sahih Muslim 2749).
If what I have said is correct, it is from Allah; and if it is wrong, then it is from myself and Shayṭān.
As Salaam Aleykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatouh.
Audrey Kodye, Registered Psychologist and Islamic therapist at Overcome Anxiety Psychological